Sunday, March 11, 2012

Change is Good Son... Not When It's Not Enough For Bus Fare

         Every year my family goes to the Indianapolis 500. It’s something I’ve come to love doing. However, since my mom doesn’t want to go every year like she used to, my sister and I have traded off years bringing a friend of ours. Last year, she brought her friend. It’s my turn this year. We have four tickets, one for my father, one for me, one for my sister, and one for the friend. It would make sense for my father, my sister, me, and my friend to go this year. That’s how it has always been. Why change it now?
         Well, my sister is now telling me that instead of our dad coming with, it will be me and my friend, and her and her friend. And on top of that, she wants to go there for the whole weekend instead of just the race. The whole idea of her plans makes my skin crawl... makes me want to punch a wall. The way we have it is perfect. Why does she want to change it?
          My mother always told me I was scared of change, and I never really believed her... until now. It all makes sense. I have metathesiophobia. I’m scared of change; I don’t like it, and I see no point. Why change what works? Why does my sister insist on this different plan?
          I suppose change is good, but I don’t want it. Period. So why do I need it? What I have works, and I don’t want to change something that works. Thinking about this is interesting, however, because how does life work without changes?
          I guess it doesn’t... I’m in for a life of hardships, and all I can hope for is that someone will help me out, and support me with making changes. No one can go through life alone... Especially in situations which are hard for some people. I really hope that this year, I go to the Indy with my friend, sister, and dad; and that doesn’t change. However, I’m scared it will. I guess I can just hope that someone understands me, even though I know it’s hard to understand phobias that one doesn’t have. For instance, metrophobia... I can’t understand how someone could be scared of poetry, but it’s a real phobia that people in this world have. But back to metathesiophobia. I hope my sister takes off her selfish brain, and realizes what she’s doing to me... I’ve been numb all day, and yesterday... It’s making me lose emotion, and I’m scared... Fear sucks. Period.


  1. I realize you wrote this post a while ago, but I'm sorry that you were feeling numb during this time. I hope that the situation has improved for you somehow. Just out of curiosity (and I'm sorry if I've missed this from previous posts), is your sister older or younger? Is there an understanding, supportive friend that you can bring with you? Or is there any way for your Dad to get another ticket? (Sorry, I don't know how the ticket situation works for Indy...) Just brainstorming...Again, I feel for you.

    1. My sister is older, I don't think I've mentioned that in any other posts, so it's OK! And even if I had, don't worry :) She is 19. I don't think there would be any more tickets at this point left because they sell out quickly due to the largeness of the event. It's on Memorial Day, so I don't think that would work. And yes, I'm still thinking about who I should invite... All of my friends have great reasons as to why I should invite them, but lucky for me, they are all understanding and supportive. I think I know someone to invite :) Thanks for the ideas, and thanks for caring. I'm still not 100% sure as to what is going on for the Indy this year, but hopefully I'll like it. Thanks for the comment!